Glossed off by Gunduz Kalic

All the world’s a stage - and all the politicians merely players.  In this age of politics by 10-second grab and policy by demographics, politicians have come more and more to resemble actors.

Everything the pollies say and do is calculated for its effect on an audience.  Inevitably, politicians have come to use the skills of actors to communicate with the electorate.  However, with actors’ skills come actors’ problems...

Mr. Goss, you’ve lost your gloss - and the sight ain’t pretty.  The devastating election result, which leaves you hanging on to power by your fingernails, also seems to have badly shaken you as a political actor.

Take it from one in showbiz, Wayne, you’ve got a bad dose of stage fright.  For years you were tops in your role as Goss the Boss, all-wise, all-controlling, super responsible leader.

But that election result jolted the hell out of you.  Your role cracked - and there you were naked before the electorate.  Since then you don’t seem to be able to get the mask back on with the old confidence and conviction.  You seem unable to recover from that dreadful moment.

Presumably, your advisers have told you to hibernate awhile.  Keep your appearances to a minimum.  Keep a low profile.  It’ll all work out.  People are sick of politics.  Just crawl under a bush and lick your wounds a while.  Build up your strength to fight another day.  But this is bad advice.

What happens to actors who get chronic stage fright?  Who lose their nerve, lose the ability to let go and just be the role?  Their tendency is to hide.  They cut appearances to a minimum.  They think they can rebuild their confidence in private.  But the knee jerk reaction doesn’t work.

When an actor gets stage fright somebody has got to kick his ass.  The actor has to get back out on the stage.  He has to get back into the part, back into the lines and actions he knows so well.  It’s the same as being thrown from a horse or having a car accident.  To recover equilibrium, you’ve got to get back on the horse or behind the wheel as quickly as possible.

The election result has recast you in our minds, Wayne.  You are now Goss-Who-Almost-Lost.  We, your audience, are watching.  We can see you’ve lowered your profile and when you do appear you don’t have the old aplomb and confidence.  Pull yourself together, man.  You’re letting the fans down.

The longer you let t his go on, the more we forget you as super-Premier, the more we wonder - are Gossie’s days numbered?  Not good! And watch your back!  If you keep going like this, your supporting actors will start thinking how good they would look in the starring role.

The election was one big blow to Wayne Goss, human being.  Fair enough:  the result stunned and depressed you.  The trouble is that your natural human reactions are getting in the way of the show.  The worst thing a stage-frightened actor can do is let his own personality and personal reactions to the event take over his performance of the role.  This is the heart of your problem, Wayne.  Your personal reaction to the election and your role as the always-on-top Premier Goss are clashing.

No amount of spin-doctoring and backroom calculation can fix things up.  There’s only one cure.  On with the show!  Turn up the lights.  Get back out there.  Increase your appearances.  For goodness sakes, man, you’ve got the wheels of government in your hands.  Generate some fresh and exciting news.  With yourself featured prominently as Mr. In Charge.

As for the worry - the self-consciousness - that we, the public see you differently now, don’t dwell on it.  Just follow Hamlet’s advice to his players, "suit your actions to your words and your words to your actions".  In other words, put in the appearances, say the lines, do the actions and your confidence will come back.  C’mon Wayne.  Give us the ol’ magic again.

This article appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail, October 27, 1995.