Coalition show bereft of stars by Gunduz Kalic

Like it or not, politics is, among other things, entertainment.  And in show business terms, the bizarre spectacle of Premier Rob Borbidge and his Government reeling from mishap to mishap resembles nothing so much as a major blockbuster production which keeps being postponed due to technical problems.

In part, the unreal, is-this-show-ever-going-to-get-started quality about current Queensland politics is no doubt attributable to Independent Liz Cunningham holding the balance of power.

Yet, as our no-longer-new Premier becomes more and more familiar to us in the main role on the state’s political stage, he increasingly comes across as somehow lacking - as if he is merely warming the Premier’s chair, like an understudy; as though he just doesn’t match up to his star billing.  At best, it’s as if he is still rehearsing to get the part right.

Occasionally it happens on Broadway or in London’s West End:  as opening night approaches, a heavily advertised major showbiz production simply isn’t audience ready.  The show is not yet sufficiently polished or coherent to go before the public.  Short of cancelling the show entirely, the producers put off the opening date and order more rehearsals.  But, to say the least, the situation is a bit embarrassing.

In our case, that of Queensland politics, the public seems to be stranded in the audience for an absurdist piece of theatrics where the star performers won’t - or can’t - put on the show we paid to see way back at the last election.  We’ve been waiting patiently for the promised action to start for 10 months, since the Mundingburra by-election - a more than reasonable fair-go period.

And now, gradually, by twos and threes, we are getting tired of the wait.  We are growing irritable and restless.

Alas, the Borbidge Show seems to be a no-show, a dud.  Instead of having the best, most user-friendly State Government in memory wow us in the aisles, as publicised and promoted by the confident Coalition hype, we’ve been subjected to the sight of the performers ducking in and out of backstage doors, making mistakes and generally being awkward as they try to get their act right.  Still worse, our entertainers are acting as if - and seem very earnestly to believe that - their show is not only right but stupendously excellent.

What we, the embarrassed audience are actually viewing, however, is a kind of clown show, wherein, for the most part, amateur performers pretend to be the world-class professionals advertised in big letters on the posters.  The Premier especially is not suiting his action to his words, and his words to his actions as Hamlet advised.  Like a ham actor, he’s not communicating anything to his audience except his own personal pleasure at being on stage.  "I got the part.  I’m the Premier and nobody’s going to take it away from me", is the message in Borbidge’s subtext.

In other words, no vision for the state here, no big picture, no real leadership.  No authentic star quality either, but rather a clumsy posturing of stardom.

Bogged down and compromised, Borbidge’s show-which-never-starts seems only to get worse the longer it runs.  The supporting cast offers little by way of redeeming highlights.  Ministers and backbenchers seem full of stage fright.  Or else they are students of the ostrich method of acting:  just barrel naively out on stage believing mightily that all’s going extremely well and then everything will be super.  If we believe hard enough, we can convince ourselves - and our public - that the Coalition really is a blockbuster of a government, they seem to be saying.

However, in their seats, the audience is starting to grow rather cross at being let down.  Will Borbidge and company never get it right?   Or never open their show?  The sense of disappointment is growing.

Once upon a time, there was the Goss Gloss.  And before that, the Joh Show.  Nowadays we are sadly bereft of gripping political showmanship.  Things are dull indeed.  The current crop of politicians is obnoxiously insisting on performing a clumsy, tedious piece of work:  let’s call it Waiting for Borbo.

This article appeared in the Brisbane Courier Mail, May 1, 1996.

Article 7.