draft only

"Rap Opera" (working title) by GJ Kalic

Prologue:

Honest T: Welcome to the world! You, me, all of us, we have transcended this little nation, we belong to a bigger family now. And hey! Let's celebrate! A new baby is being born tonight! Popping before your very eyes. A baby springing from the loins of the United Nations, the buttocks of the World Bank, the breast of NATO, the groin of the IMF, the arms of OPEC and APEC, the legs of WIPO and WTO.

Here it comes - the GIIO. The Global Integrity Investment Organisation. Light the cigars. Pull the corks on the champagne!

Ladies and gentlemen, as you well know, one of the greatest ills in the world today is political criminality. Political dishonesty.The mission of IIIO is to put a stop to this plague. We will succeed where so many before us have failed? Our charter is to maximise integrity - for all of us. But for starters, some very promising executives are set to join our team - provided they pass a very tough final interview in front of you tonight.

Honoured guests before we move on with the evenings proceedings, I would like to assert that I humbly pride myself on my name "Honest Torso". Honest T for short. This tag was first placed on me as an outrageous insult. Yet I am honoured to say that the people know better. They know my honesty is fair dinkum. That's why they call me "Honest T" with pride. And I will not let them down. I will personally sack any of my IIIO team that does. And that is a promise. In other words, ladies and gentlemen, I am honoured to have been selected to lead us all to honesty. To international best practice, perfect honesty. I cannot disguise from you the fact that this effort will be tough. The bottom line is that finest quality top export grade honesty is only ever achieved by facing up to the past. By coming to terms with who we are. By getting in touch with our roots as a nation.

Ladies and gentlemen, can you hear the rattle? Of those ancestral balls and chains? Let's own up. Let's take it on the chin. We had sleazy convict foreparents. We were a brotherhood of thieves and the misunderstood. that is our roots. But our honesty is our future. Our future is our honesty,. together now, let's shatter the mould and start afresh. Life does not stand still. Nations that do not want to get left behind in the backwater of international life must not be afraid of radically remaking themselves.

Can you hear the rattle? Reach down, with both hands grab those ancient balls and chains. Tear them off. Together, we must let go..of the dark shadow of our convict past. Honesty will lead us to the future. Honesty is the future. Our honesty will lead us to propsperity. Life is not an open sewer of criminality but a vast sea of exciting international commercial opportunity. A sea in which we can show that, per head of population, we are truly world class. A force to be reckoned with, indeed. My word.

Rap

We must claim our future by reclaiming our past.

Now everyone, follow me, take it slow and steady

Look up straight, 'cause I want to relate the story of our future

Brothers all, the prison wall don't suit ya, the streets

are where we're headed now and the chains of our fathers

will show us how.

Close your eyes move your feet

close your eyes feel that beat

close your eyes you'll realise

your moving feet will synchronise

your past with your future. It'll suit ya!

Move your feet feel that beat

move your feet feel that beat and

listen

listen

listen

to the rhythm of your heart, ya heart!!

I'm talking now to all of you

got a new future whole new view.

We all know what we gotta do

own up to the thief in me 'n' you

close your eyes feel that beat

close your eyes move your feet

close your eyes you'll realise

your moving feet tell no lies no lies

Listen to the rhythm

listen to the rhythm

Listen to the rhythm of your balls and chains

listen to the rhythm of your balls and chains

Listen to the rhythm of your heart that's a start!!

we're coming clean we're on the winning team

we're coming clean we're on the winning team

put one arm up in the air 'cause the other one's

reaching for your balls and chains to wear with pride

we've got nothing to hide

nothing to hide

no more duality, this is reality

no more duality, this is reality!

we're coming clean

we're on the winning team

we're coming clean

we're on the winning team

we're coming clean we're on the winning team

we're coming clean we're on the winninteam!

now's the time to take an oath

struth, long live the truth.

Scene 2

(Everyone is sitting around a sewage tunnel bubbling beautifully...this is the board of admission led by Honest T..a candidate is in the pool struggling)

Torso: What a potential champion! Help him out to the other side. Quick. Get him out! Little Judge! You were too eager. You might have drowned yourself.

Full marks for desire. But you are still a drowner.

Trust Honest T. If you play ball with shit, it won't kill you, it won't even soil you. No, you will be lifted up like salt in the water.

You see, shit knows. Shit has integrity. We can't bend the rules. We've got to keep faith with the community. Trust Honest T. Things will get better. Meditate on this: shit is not something real men hold their nose about. No. Shit is opportunity knocking. Shit is hope. Shit is the renewal of life. Eat shit Judge, Give shit Judge, it's all a beautiful cycle.

You deserve to be a better man Judge. See you next time.

(A ballad full of European feeling follows. The audience should feel truly sorry for the Judge.)